At Lulu Carpenter's in 2003. Used in the Fish Rap Live! article about the x-talks "Not Your Mother's Kitchen Chaos."

Major Themes: Optimism and Health in the Body, Fathers, Nuclear Annihilation, Apocalypse, Phoenix Rising, Caterpillar Melting, Swirls and Dreams of “Dark Eddies,” Artist’s Salvation, New Zealand

Texts Referenced: Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire, The Design of Everyday Things by Don Norman, Programming in Lua by Roberto Lerusalimschy, 1984 by George Orwell, The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradburry, The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton

Ralph opened because he is “the least shy,” though also identifies himself at this X as paranoid and pessimistic.  Soon he would be speaking at a conference on Nuclear Disarmament and was not enthusiastic about his role nor the goals of the meeting.   To gain some inspiration, he visited one of the most positive people he knows, a scholar of attitude’s relationship to our physiology and potential for extraordinary health.  Ralph was shocked to find that alongside the positivity was a firm belief in our impending apocalyptic doom.  Ralph speculates on the necessity for these breakdowns, as symbolized by the caterpillar’s transformation to a bodiless “goo” within the chrysalis before restructuring as a butterfly.

Lauren recognized Ralph’s friend as an author that had greatly influenced her father’s experience with cancer and treatment.  His whole approach to healing changed after reading one of the colleagues works.  He began seeing his body, including the cancer, as a conference of cells, with himself as a facilitator.  He was inspired to seek alternative therapies and remain focused on his attitude and sense of purpose as the priorities.  Lauren insists that there is no need to hide from imminent doom, that if it is truly imminent, the best place to be will be right in the middle of it.

Jessie is settling into the “bliss dissolution” of life after university.  His reflections on the job search that occupies so much of the attention of most is that he’s “not working to survive,” that we work in a complicated system of exchange, out of direct contact with the elements of our own survival.  In traveling abroad, he felt unable to answer questions about the United States after realizing, “I don’t know about America, I live in Santa Cruz.”  This has inspired him to do more traveling in his own country.

Swirl continues to embrace that she was “conceived and born into a cult of revolution” and works to “be in a position of power when change becomes painful.”  In her current work on offshore eddies and nutrient transport, she continues to question basic assumptions and reveal more accurate models, having a “sneaking suspicion,” that current models are based more on the dynamics of the observers than what is occurring in the ocean.  She is happily focused on her “swirls,” but has occasional dreams of “dark eddies…”

Phoenix continued  a thread speculating on New Zealand’s value as a safe haven from the Nuclear Annihilation of the world, filling us in on its history as a nuclear-free country that also engaged in the support and transport of materials and troops involved in nuclear arms.  He gave us a bit of personal and religious history in regards to the Apocalyptic roots of the 7th Day Adventists.  He remains skeptical of the end of the world, though in another continuing thread on the value of retreat, wonders if his engagement in city life and technology is a helpful or harmful thing.

Kathleen regrounded the group by relating her personal experience with mysterious health issues over a long period of time (similar to our Pablo’s experience?)  A chronic pain of unknown origins has forced her to consider all the factors of health and diagnosis, and at one point she realized that she preferred diagnosis, even a frightening one, to the continued uncertainty.  This experience with her health has brought deep questions about work, lifestyle, medicine and her role as a woman in regards to childbearing, to the surface.

Dustin appeared unperturbed by several rounds of doom and gloom.  Recently moved from LA, he related his meeting with an ex-homicide detective in Santa Cruz and the enlightening tour of the city he got as a result.  He suggested the possibility that “art” doesn’t exist, that everywhere we see windows into human minds, these windows being the “artist’s salvation.”  And he affirms: Coffee is good.